I need to level with you guys here. I have recently had the biggest kitchen fail of my entire mom life. It was bad, not edible. Did you know that baking soda and baking powder are NOT the same things? Oh, you did? Well, color me pink and throw some glitter my way, because I did not get that memo.
I have a history of failing with chicken. The list goes on and on. Basically, it almost always turns out wrong. And most times, it’s because I did not follow the instructions. (I guess they add those for a reason?)
This particular fail has got to be the most epic yet. I was looking for these things in my recipe, nothing more; crispy, with a lovely sauce to complement the crisp. I found this one and decided it fit the bill for the crispy requirement. Then I found this for the yummy sauce. My mouth was watering just thinking about all the yum that would be on the table that night.
So I read the ingredient list, pulled out the baking soda (because I apparently cannot read) and got to work. If you’ll notice, the recipe clearly calls for a sprinkle of baking powder on the chicken skin. Verbatim, it says:
“Sprinkle with 1/2 teaspoon of salt and 1 tablespoon of baking powder (NOT baking soda!). It doesn’t seem like much but you’re not trying to make a coating for the wings here. You’re trying to change their pH level so that they will crisp up better.”
So yea, I didn’t read that the first time. I think I saw the words powder, chicken, crispy and bake. That’s what I get for not paying attention.
Next, we move to the word sprinkle. As it turns out, it is NOT the same as “dump in a bag, not measure the ingredients and shake the crap out of them!” Not the same at all. And that’s exactly what I did. I then baked them. While the chicken was baking I started working on the sauce.
I will say this, the ingredients mingle so well together. Too bad it just wasn’t enough to save my chicken.
I wish I had taken a picture for you to see. My chicken *LOOKED* amazing. The smell was enticing. I was stoked to have finally made chicken that looked and smelled like this. Since the skin is my most favorite part, I decided I would test it and relish in the deliciousness that I just created. I am so glad I did.
As soon as I popped the first little morsel in my mouth, I knew I messed up. I spat it out, all the while cursing loudly that we were not eating dinner that night. I had foamy bubbles forming in my mouth. As I reached for my drink, (soda) my hubby walked in.
As he watched the skeptical I was making out of myself, he reached for some chicken, and said it can’t be that bad. I had zero time to respond, as I had a mouth full of bubbles and he was moving fast. As quick as he had it in his mouth- it was out. All he said was “Arrgh! What did you do?”
At this point in my story, it’s important to tell you a little about Matt. He hates chicken. With a passion. But when you are trying to feed a picky family of 4, sometimes chicken happens.
I even tried to salvage it with the sauce. All that did was added a pleasant soy sauce based garlic sticky sauce to my mouth full of bubbles.
Now, friends, I have a question. Why on earth would grocery stores place a product that clearly tastes nothing like food on a shelf next to lovely tasting ingredients? I can tell you I will never trust a recipe again that lists baking soda as a required ingredient.
I am happy to say that all of my baking soda has been moved to the proper place, the laundry room.
With social media having such a large presence, and Pinterest being the giant that it is (that I adore) I am sure you have made something that turned out to be your biggest fail. Share with me! I want to know that I am not the only human out there with the seemingly impossible fails. Did you try that Barbie cake and have it end up Barbie in a sinkhole? Have you built something and forget a few screws? Ever put gasoline in your diesel engine? (unforgivable in my family) Maybe one of us here has a solution to help you fix it.
I know there is no hope for me when it comes to cooking chicken, and I have embraced that. Have you embraced your failures??
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