Its almost instant regret, which I hate to say because of the idea that another human aside from one of my immediate family members, wants to spend time with me. Sometimes not even they want to. Its one of those moments in life where I am feeling sorry for my self. Or, more often than not, I am just dealing with instant social anxiety. Today, a dear friend that I do not often get to see invited me to lunch. In 2 weeks. No big deal right? WRONG.
A Complex and Complicated Mind
Listen. I am a complicated being. I absolutely HATE with a passion last minute plans. They throw me off and make me SOOOO grumpy. And so does thinking about the future. I deal a lot with social anxiety lately. Which means that I panic about thinking about going, well… anywhere really. It’s a mind hell that at times makes me unable to sleep. Right now, I can tell you 27 reasons why I should cancel my plans right now, and they all would be irrational and sound absolutely insane. Yes, I do know what social anxiety looks like because I wake up every morning rushing and considerably irritated.
Because I have lost too many friends over my lack of wanting to leave the house, I am not going to give in to the urge to immediately message her back and tell her no, I cant. And she knows this about me. She knows that I just don’t do the phone call up in the middle of the day and “hey let’s do lunch.” Things must be planned out. I need to have it set up. But the lead up to this or any other event is truly torture. I won’t be able to breathe, or really do anything other than dwell that I will be out of the house for lunch and that literally ANYTHING could happen. I will have a sparkly beautiful house and really rich and yummy meals, and projects galore ( so stay tuned, because I have tons up my sleeve for you! 😉 ) to stay busy, but any time that I am not actively doing something will be the worst moments.
Seeking Help For Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is no laughing matter, and if you are struggling I wish I could give you a hug. ( But let’s be real, that would be uncomfortable for both of us, and would for sure make things worse.) On second thought, if you are struggling, I urge you to talk to a professional. If you are not comfortable talking to a family member or friend, there are other sources, and I would suggest your local Behavioral Health Resources as a fantastic start.
There are other online support groups that are dedicated to just about every kind of anxiety support, and social anxiety is no exception. If you are in crisis, PLEASE REACH OUT. I have been there. There is nothing wrong with needing a little support, to help you off of the literal floor. Remember my Guide to Living With Anxiety When Your Mind Is A Hot Mess? I mentioned sleeping on the floor. It has happened to the best of us and I wish I had this available at the time of my lowest.
Resources To Help Those Struggling with Social Anxiety
I have found for you a few very promising resources to help you if you are continuing to struggle with social anxiety that I have listed below. As well as crisis hotlines. If you are struggling there IS help for you. You just have to take the first step and make the click or pick up the phone. Coming from someone who struggles DAILY with this imprisonment, trapped by the fear that I can not shake, I promise you are not alone.
Need to chat? Hit the contact me button and shoot me a message. I read each and every one, and I promise to reply. Or you can find me on Twitter @Ohshesahotmess and in my Facebook group for likeminded hot mess mamas @ Facebook.com/groups/shesahotmess and I would love to have you join or tweet me!
Promising Websites For Social Anxiety Information and Support Groups
Toll-Free National HotLines
Boys Town Crisis and Suicide Hotline: 800-448-3000 or 800-448-1833
Covenant House Hotline: 800-999-9999
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
SafeQuest Crisis Line: 866-487-7233 (4UR-SAFE)
Parent Hotline: 800-840-6537
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255)
Hopeline: 800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
National Suicide Hotlines: 800-SUICIDE (784 2433)
Teen Hotline Covenant House NineLine: 800-999-9999
SOS Teen Hotline: 800-949-0057
Grief Recovery Helpline: 800-445-4808
*This list of phone numbers compiled via www.allaboutcounseling.com
More Resources For Social Anxiety
- visit for help with Substance abuse and Mental Health needs.
- visit for all things suicide prevention. This is an amazing site that needs more recognition.
- visit for resources and helpful info. This is also another great site that needs more publicity. Their blog is such an inspirational read. I highly recommend this site.
- A unique site for text crisis help. I featured this site when I interviewed Jennifer as a Super Mom. It is highly recommended you check this out.
I appreciate the time it took you to read this, and if you made it this far, well that means more than I can tell you. If you know someone that is struggling or may benefit from this list of resources, please do share with them.
Until next time
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